There will be an open memorial service on Saturday, March 3rd at 3pm, here at my parents' house. All my parents' friends and neighbors -- anybody who knew them -- are welcome. If you'd like to bring a tray of sandwiches or snacks, feel free to do so. Contact me, Mike, at 916-410-4150 if you have any questions.
My father's obituary will be published in this Saturday's issue of the Roseville Press-Tribune.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Dad has passed
A few minutes ago, at 10:30 am, my father passed away peacefully. He was 91.
There will be a memorial service, and details will be posted here.
There will be a memorial service, and details will be posted here.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Near the end, people
Today Edie the bather and Brian the RN (in place of Linda) visited. Brian tells me that Dad's basically got 48 hours or so. He no longer takes in any food, liquid or medicine.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Status (old)
Yesterday, Dad became much weaker and less aware of his surroundings. He is awake (eyes open, hands folded on his chest, brushing his face, etc.) but unaware of us (or unable to acknowledge us). He is much less active now.
This morning he was at an awkward angle on the bed, so I picked up his legs and put them back on the bed, and picked up his head to reposition the pillow. He said, "Oh, Michael." I said, "Hi Dad. Do you need anything?" He said, "Yes." I said, "What do you need?" He then faded back into oblivion and incoherence, but he knew I was there. A few minutes ago I held his hand and he clapped my hand with his other one, so he knows I'm there.
This has slightly eased the 24/7 care-giving burden on me. I was able to slip out to grab something to eat just now. I've actually lost some weight in the last few days due to not being able to take care of myself.
I have a strong sense that I'm doing the right thing for my Dad, which gives me strength and focus. I feel that I'll be able to look back on this period of my life with no regrets. I took care of my Dad in his old age.
This morning he was at an awkward angle on the bed, so I picked up his legs and put them back on the bed, and picked up his head to reposition the pillow. He said, "Oh, Michael." I said, "Hi Dad. Do you need anything?" He said, "Yes." I said, "What do you need?" He then faded back into oblivion and incoherence, but he knew I was there. A few minutes ago I held his hand and he clapped my hand with his other one, so he knows I'm there.
This has slightly eased the 24/7 care-giving burden on me. I was able to slip out to grab something to eat just now. I've actually lost some weight in the last few days due to not being able to take care of myself.
I have a strong sense that I'm doing the right thing for my Dad, which gives me strength and focus. I feel that I'll be able to look back on this period of my life with no regrets. I took care of my Dad in his old age.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Status (old)
This morning Dad was active for a couple of hours, then settled back down to sleep again. Mother also went back to bed, so I thought I could skip out to go home and take a shower. (It had only been three days since my last shower, but I decided, what the heck, I'll take one anyway. Joking!)
When I got back, Dad had somehow got his pajama top off. Well, excuse me for taking a few minutes for myself! I obviously can't leave him alone for even a minute any more.
He did eat a few spoonfuls of oatmeal, which is the first thing he's eaten in days. Hopefully that will give him some energy.
2/24/12
He got a bath today. Edie was off, so it was Esther instead.
We managed to get a tiny amount of Ensure into him, maybe half an ounce. Not sure how much that will do for him. I tipped a teacup of it up to his mouth; he can't sip out of a straw any more. He was confused during the process.
When I got back, Dad had somehow got his pajama top off. Well, excuse me for taking a few minutes for myself! I obviously can't leave him alone for even a minute any more.
He did eat a few spoonfuls of oatmeal, which is the first thing he's eaten in days. Hopefully that will give him some energy.
2/24/12
He got a bath today. Edie was off, so it was Esther instead.
We managed to get a tiny amount of Ensure into him, maybe half an ounce. Not sure how much that will do for him. I tipped a teacup of it up to his mouth; he can't sip out of a straw any more. He was confused during the process.
Request
Many of the neighbors have expressed a willingness to help out. If that's you, and you can spare the time, please leave a comment here or call me at 916-410-4150. I need someone to fill in for me Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for four hours, 4:30 - 8:30 pm. If you're able to help out for one or more of those times, that'd be great.
It would mainly involve getting Dad things to eat and drink, raising/lowering the bed, making sure he keeps the oxygen line on, making sure he's comfortable, etc., but it may also mean helping him onto the bedside commode, which would mean using some physical strength to help him to his feet. If you have a condition that wouldn't allow you to do that, I advise against it.
Thanks in advance!
It would mainly involve getting Dad things to eat and drink, raising/lowering the bed, making sure he keeps the oxygen line on, making sure he's comfortable, etc., but it may also mean helping him onto the bedside commode, which would mean using some physical strength to help him to his feet. If you have a condition that wouldn't allow you to do that, I advise against it.
Thanks in advance!
Status (old)
After yesterday morning's adventure, Dad was exhausted. He slept all day. That wouldn't have been a problem, except it continued all day today. He fought against wearing the oxygen tube, wouldn't take any meds, refused all food and drink. He may have reached a turning point, although he is a little bit better tonight.
I talked to Linda the RN, and she said to keep at it. Wearing the oxygen tube will help avoid a lot of problems. She'll be here tomorrow to help evaluate his status.
Edie the bather was here around 1:30, and as usual she was incredible. That lady has been doing it for 36 years or so! I learned a lot about keeping my dad comfortable by watching her: making sure the sheets don't bunch up under him, etc.
He just told me he thought he was booked for 1953 at Carnegie Hall.
I talked to Linda the RN, and she said to keep at it. Wearing the oxygen tube will help avoid a lot of problems. She'll be here tomorrow to help evaluate his status.
Edie the bather was here around 1:30, and as usual she was incredible. That lady has been doing it for 36 years or so! I learned a lot about keeping my dad comfortable by watching her: making sure the sheets don't bunch up under him, etc.
He just told me he thought he was booked for 1953 at Carnegie Hall.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Excitement
Good morning! If you're a neighbor, you're probably wondering about the fire truck this morning...
I awoke to normal getting-around sounds in the house. I heard my mother up and around; I didn't hear any voices; in short, I had no clues that anything was amiss. The Kaiser nurse Linda called to say she was on her way, so I got up to check on Dad.
He was on the bedroom floor, slumped against the door, so that nobody could get in.
After some time, he was able to shift away from the door so I could get in. He was exhausted, so I laid him out on the floor and got his oxygen going again. Linda arrived and told me that in a case likethis, I should call the Roseville Fire Department non-emergency number and explain that we had a non-emergency man-down situation. (I now dimly remember her telling me that, among tons of other instructions I got when hospice first kicked in.) They arrived, got him back in bed, and left again.
All this was over a cup of tea. Dad explained that the first thing you do in the morning is make a cup of tea. (Dad is as die-hard British as they come.) Of course, he no longer has the strength to do any such thing. As Linda put it, "his mind was writing checks that his body couldn't cash." On their way out, one of the firemen looked at me and said, "You should get him that cup of tea."
We need to borrow a baby monitor from somebody. We also need to booby-trap his bed with bells, so that if he tries to get out again, there will be clear clues next time!
I awoke to normal getting-around sounds in the house. I heard my mother up and around; I didn't hear any voices; in short, I had no clues that anything was amiss. The Kaiser nurse Linda called to say she was on her way, so I got up to check on Dad.
He was on the bedroom floor, slumped against the door, so that nobody could get in.
After some time, he was able to shift away from the door so I could get in. He was exhausted, so I laid him out on the floor and got his oxygen going again. Linda arrived and told me that in a case likethis, I should call the Roseville Fire Department non-emergency number and explain that we had a non-emergency man-down situation. (I now dimly remember her telling me that, among tons of other instructions I got when hospice first kicked in.) They arrived, got him back in bed, and left again.
All this was over a cup of tea. Dad explained that the first thing you do in the morning is make a cup of tea. (Dad is as die-hard British as they come.) Of course, he no longer has the strength to do any such thing. As Linda put it, "his mind was writing checks that his body couldn't cash." On their way out, one of the firemen looked at me and said, "You should get him that cup of tea."
We need to borrow a baby monitor from somebody. We also need to booby-trap his bed with bells, so that if he tries to get out again, there will be clear clues next time!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Status (old)
2/18/2012
Yesterday Dad got bathed by Edie and examined by RN Linda, both Kaiser people. He didn't eat or drink much, although he did get out of bed to his recliner.
Today he hasn't been out of bed. He seems in good spirits, and not delirious, but he hasn't eaten or drank anything. We ask and ask, but he turns everything down. Hmmm. Linda the RN did say this sort of stuff is natural in the end stages.
2/20/2012
Last night was a bad night. Dad had me up at all hours with delirium. It turns out I created that situation, by not insisting he has his oxygen line on at night. I'll have to be firm with him about that in the future.
Dad is still "with us", in the sense that he's in his right mind most of the time. I'm so grateful for that!
Edie the Kaiser bather came again. She does such a great job. Then a Kaiser volunteer, Steve, came and spelled me for a few hours. These people are so good, so helpful. I would have taken Carol to a movie, but she couldn't find one she wanted to see. So we looked at fruit trees at Green Acres, then grabbed a sandwich at Togo's, courtesy of my daughter. Thanks, Lisa!
I mentioned this blog to Steve the volunteer, and he told me about caringbridge.org, which is a site designed exactly to do what I'm doing with this blog. I may switch to it; if I do, it'll be posted here.
Yesterday Dad got bathed by Edie and examined by RN Linda, both Kaiser people. He didn't eat or drink much, although he did get out of bed to his recliner.
Today he hasn't been out of bed. He seems in good spirits, and not delirious, but he hasn't eaten or drank anything. We ask and ask, but he turns everything down. Hmmm. Linda the RN did say this sort of stuff is natural in the end stages.
2/20/2012
Last night was a bad night. Dad had me up at all hours with delirium. It turns out I created that situation, by not insisting he has his oxygen line on at night. I'll have to be firm with him about that in the future.
Dad is still "with us", in the sense that he's in his right mind most of the time. I'm so grateful for that!
Edie the Kaiser bather came again. She does such a great job. Then a Kaiser volunteer, Steve, came and spelled me for a few hours. These people are so good, so helpful. I would have taken Carol to a movie, but she couldn't find one she wanted to see. So we looked at fruit trees at Green Acres, then grabbed a sandwich at Togo's, courtesy of my daughter. Thanks, Lisa!
I mentioned this blog to Steve the volunteer, and he told me about caringbridge.org, which is a site designed exactly to do what I'm doing with this blog. I may switch to it; if I do, it'll be posted here.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Hospital delirium
The first time I encountered this with my dad was back in December, when he was in the hospital due to the heart attack that precipitated all this. He called me late one night in a panic. "Michael! Something's wrong! I need you!" I got Mother and we went down there. He was convinced that he needed to get dressed and go home, but couldn't articulate why. In his mind there was an urgent need for him to be at home. He got suspicious of me when I tried to persuade him that he couldn't. Of course, he was hooked up to IV's and couldn't just waltz out anyway, even if he had the strength and the nurses didn't try to stop him.
The next day he seemed to be better, and I told him he wasn't in his right mind the night before. He said, "That's insulting. By the way, the Disney people are hosting us for lunch."
There were other occurrences, but none as dramatic or stressful as that first one. One time, he said a man from the city came by and told him I was in the hospital. Another time, he was convinced he saw water cascading down from his hospital room ceiling, above the TV.
If I ever get like this, just shoot me.
The next day he seemed to be better, and I told him he wasn't in his right mind the night before. He said, "That's insulting. By the way, the Disney people are hosting us for lunch."
There were other occurrences, but none as dramatic or stressful as that first one. One time, he said a man from the city came by and told him I was in the hospital. Another time, he was convinced he saw water cascading down from his hospital room ceiling, above the TV.
If I ever get like this, just shoot me.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Current status (old)
Tuesday, 2/7/12
Dad had severe shortness of breath and asked to go to the ER. It was congestive heart failure again.
Thursday, 2/9/12
Dad is in the hospital at Kaiser in Roseville (room 2112, in 2 North). The heart damage has worsened, and we've transitioned from treatment to end-of-life comfort measures (hospice service). They started him on morphine this afternoon.
Friday, 2/10/12
Dad was largely awake today, although in and out due to the morphine. They've moved him to room 3003 (3 South).
Monday, 2/13/12
They've put him on oral morphine, meaning he can come home. They need to get a hospital bed (with hospital-like overbed table) delivered first, so I'll be taking his old bed apart so they can do that. He'll also be on oxygen. The hospice nurse will make her first visit tomorrow.
He's home! Bed and oxygen were delivered and set up, and the transport brought him at 6. He's weak and frail but awake and alert.
Tuesday, 2/14/12
The hospice nurse made her first visit today. If they're all like this lady, they'll be a wonderful help.
Dad ate almost nothing today. He had a sip or two of an Ensure and some water -- that's it.
We made a couple of trips to the bathroom. Fun time for all. NOT.
Wednesday, 2/15/12
Today Dad is trying to remove his catheter. He's also convinced it's Saturday. Still nothing to eat or drink but a cup of tea. Stiff upper lip British to the end.
Nurse visited this afternoon; also a bather to give him a bath. He finished an Ensure.
He asked for a tuna salad sandwich and fries!!! Great!!! But he didn't touch it. >:-(
Tonight, Mother asked him if he wanted anything. He said yes, for her to start painting. She said paint what? and he said the garage door. I thought it was a touch of hospital delirium, but it turns out he was joshing her. That was an encouraging occurrence!
Dad had severe shortness of breath and asked to go to the ER. It was congestive heart failure again.
Thursday, 2/9/12
Dad is in the hospital at Kaiser in Roseville (room 2112, in 2 North). The heart damage has worsened, and we've transitioned from treatment to end-of-life comfort measures (hospice service). They started him on morphine this afternoon.
Friday, 2/10/12
Dad was largely awake today, although in and out due to the morphine. They've moved him to room 3003 (3 South).
Monday, 2/13/12
They've put him on oral morphine, meaning he can come home. They need to get a hospital bed (with hospital-like overbed table) delivered first, so I'll be taking his old bed apart so they can do that. He'll also be on oxygen. The hospice nurse will make her first visit tomorrow.
He's home! Bed and oxygen were delivered and set up, and the transport brought him at 6. He's weak and frail but awake and alert.
Tuesday, 2/14/12
The hospice nurse made her first visit today. If they're all like this lady, they'll be a wonderful help.
Dad ate almost nothing today. He had a sip or two of an Ensure and some water -- that's it.
We made a couple of trips to the bathroom. Fun time for all. NOT.
Wednesday, 2/15/12
Today Dad is trying to remove his catheter. He's also convinced it's Saturday. Still nothing to eat or drink but a cup of tea. Stiff upper lip British to the end.
Nurse visited this afternoon; also a bather to give him a bath. He finished an Ensure.
He asked for a tuna salad sandwich and fries!!! Great!!! But he didn't touch it. >:-(
Tonight, Mother asked him if he wanted anything. He said yes, for her to start painting. She said paint what? and he said the garage door. I thought it was a touch of hospital delirium, but it turns out he was joshing her. That was an encouraging occurrence!
Some background
Dad had some sort of blood infection a few years ago, and this apparently did some damage to his heart, which is affecting him now. From what they say, he has two bad valves, and they can't replace them due to his advanced age.
In December he had a bad spell of shortness of breath, and I took him to the ER, where they determined that he had had congestive heart failure, which is a heart attack due to accumulated fluid in the body. This is when the two bad valves were diagnosed. He did a stay in a care center, where he did physical therapy to get some strength back.
In December he had a bad spell of shortness of breath, and I took him to the ER, where they determined that he had had congestive heart failure, which is a heart attack due to accumulated fluid in the body. This is when the two bad valves were diagnosed. He did a stay in a care center, where he did physical therapy to get some strength back.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Thanks for coming here!
I created this blog because there are a lot of friends and family who love my dad and frequently ask me how he's doing. Everybody deserves to know, and it's hard to inform everybody (and keep track of who's up to date!). So, I put together this as a place where you can keep up on my dad's health battles.
You can contact me (Mike) at 916-410-4150, or tierndog@yahoo.com. We're just up the street from Dad, at 1403 Dorchester.
My mother, Marj, is at 1350 Kingswood, of course.
You can contact me (Mike) at 916-410-4150, or tierndog@yahoo.com. We're just up the street from Dad, at 1403 Dorchester.
My mother, Marj, is at 1350 Kingswood, of course.
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